“Hate X, Love Y”

I don’t know Kirk Masden, but today he posted a comment on my January 2008 blogpost, “Love the Sinner, Hate the Sin,” in which I railed against that temporizing tagline.  He wrote:

My basic argument is that saying "Hate the sin, love the sinner" in regard to gay marriage is no less offensive than saying "Hate the delusion, love the deluded person" in regard to those who oppose gay marriage for religious reasons.

He directed me to his further comment at his Facebook page. There, he writes:

It is of offensive in the same way that gratuitously calling a person's religious belief a "delusion" would be offensive. I think, though, that the argument that the religious beliefs that undergird opposition to gay marriage are a form of "delusion" is at least as strong as the argument that maintaining a same-sex relationship is a kind of "sin." Here's psychiatrist and philosopher Karl Jaspers' three-part definition of "delusion": 1) certainty (held with absolute conviction); 2) incorrigibility (not changeable by compelling counterargument or proof to the contrary); 3) impossibility or falsity of content (implausible, bizarre or patently untrue). I'm not so sure about the third criterion but the first two seem to fit pretty neatly. My intent in writing this is not to offend my religious friends and relatives (though I'm afraid some will take offense). Rather, I would like to encourage those who use the phrase "hate the sin, love the sinner" as they denigrate same-sex relationships to think twice about it. How "loved" would they feel if they were constantly confronted with "hate the delusion, love the deluded person" in reference to their faith?

His comment helped me get in touch with some other analogies.  How would you feel if you heard some of these comments from supposed people of faith?

     “Hate Judaism, but love the Jew.”

     “Hate African-Americans, but love the African American.”

     “Hate Mexicans, but love Juanita.”

I know people like that.  They declare their “hatred” of a whole class of despised people, but then declare their affection for a particular subset or maybe a particular person.

Didn’t we see that in the bad old days of racism? Racists spewed hate against “niggers,” while they vowed fondness toward their laundress or gardener or baby-sitter who was black. 

Hate is hate.  And God did not tell us to hate anyone or anything in God’s created order. And love is love. And God is love. 

I could as easily say:

“Love the Christians. Hate the Christianists.”

or

“Love the Bible. Hate the biblicans.”

Looking at today’s Pharisees within Christianity, I could as easily say I “hate their sin, but love them anyway.”

But God calls me to love them all and to hate none of them.  Of course, sometimes that’s a challenge. But it’s what Christ calls me to do.

That’s the problem with the “hate the sin” crowd.  God did not give any of us permission to hate anyone else.  My Bible tells me that anyone who hates is not of the Spirit.  My Bible tells me God is going to judge us all eventually. God’s going to separate the wheat from the weeds, the sheep from the goats. Many parables remind me that it’s not my job to decide who – if anyone – God hates or loves. I think the people who spew “Hate the sin, but love the sinner” should stand trembling … as they make the judgment that God reserves as God’s own judgment to make. 

In all of Scripture, I can’t find an instance where God smiled upon people who hate.  I find many instances in which God showed mercy upon those who were hated.  So the haters should probably take a bit of care.