Love the Sinner, Hate the Sin

Over on the HoBD list, they're having a very sophisticated discussion about that aphorism that "good Christians" should or might "Love the sinner, but hate the sin." I enjoy the discussions that the HoBD folks have; they almost always provoke me to deeper thought.

Various thoughtful folks on the HoBD list have offered thoughtful comments about holiness and biblical exegesis as it relates to "Love the sinner; hate the sin."

God knows, I believe that our faith in Christ calls us to holiness. In our personal lives. In our lives in community. As a church. I believe God calls all of us to holiness.

But here's the bottom line.

When anybody tells me they "Love the sinner, but hate the sin," I immediately know I'm dealing with someone who hates me, my life, my relationships, and everything I treasure in my life. Those people can quibble and temporize all they want. But the fact is, "Love the sinner, hate the sin" has become a bastion for people who are willing to tolerate every other "sin" except for the supposed "sin" of Christians who are in committed relationships with people of the same sex. Do they look at the morbidly obese former-bishop Schofield and offer to love him but hate his sin? No, they do not. Do they turn their little slogan against twice-divorced-and-thrice-married bishops of our church? No, they do not.

It seems to me that the only people against whom I hear them deliver this slogan is us gay people. And the message is condescension, pure and simple.

If they were talking about "colored people" or "retarded people," someone would call them on their bigotry. But so far, as of January 7, 2008, they are still allowed to trot out their "Love the sinner, but hate the sin" mantra as if it did anything besides articulate mask deep, uncompromising hatred of homosexuals. And even our best friends try to engage those "Love the sinner, hate the sin" people as if they were rational. It is so easy to get sucked in by their apparent sense.

But it's not sense. It's hatred.

I think it's time to call them on it. Most of us have learned that it is deeply offensive to call people names that cause hurt. We don't call African American men "boys." We don't urge various non-white, non-Europeans to "mind their place." But somehow it's ok to tell queers that they can "Love the sinner, but hate the sin."

Well, guess what? When someone uses that term, I absolutely know that they hate me, and they have decided that my life and any relationship I might have is a "sin." They believe they are justified in discounting and hating both me and my behavior. It doesn't matter how much fancy language they dress it up in. It's hatred. But it's hatred without the courage to own itself. It is single-issue condescension.

Please show me any other instance in which they trot out this "Love the sinner, hate the sin" canard. Show me any other instance in which they use it against some group other than homosexuals. If you can, I'll consider they're not just lamely seeking to mask heterosexism and a hatred of homosexuals.

Until then, I'll remain convinced that the "Love the sinner, hate the sin" folks are just bigots with fancy pseudo-bible language masking their deep hatred.

In response, here's what I have to say to them.



Addendum: Elizabeth Kaeton, also spurred by the "Hate the Sinner..." language, also blogged today on this topic. Go read her essay. It's a doozie!

Further addendum: Sometimes, the "arguments" are so infuriating that the only reasonable response is this one [photo at left], which Caminante gave me. As she said: "Hissspit is for those moments in life when words fail me but I need to do something. I think felines have a perfect answer."

Yet another addendum (01.11.08): That Kaeton Woman, in this post yesterday, did a much better job of talking about the moral and theological issues on which I tried to touch here. I strongly encourage you to read it.