Thursday, February 12, 2009

Scars

a.k.a. “Vanity, vanity … all is vanity”

It’s now been almost four weeks since The Fall. (If you’re just catching up, I wrote about it here, with updates here and here.) I didn’t intend to write about it any more, but . . .

I was happy that the wounds seemed to heal so well. I’ve not worn makeup, so my face could stay as clean as possible. As I mentioned before, I worried (perhaps with an unhealthy dose of vanity) that I would have unsightly scars from the deep abrasions. I have watched as the new skin grew on my face. It was like “baby skin”: fresh and pink and tender.

Today I had a holiday, and treated myself to a long, hot shower, facial treatment, and all that. And for the first time in several days I took a long, hard look at my face in the mirror. The scars aren’t “baby-fresh pink” anymore. They’re turning brown. A long time ago, I burned my wrist on an iron; that burn was visible and brown for many years afterwards. I wonder if that’s what’s beginning to happen to my face, too.

It’s not a biggie. We all carry scars of various types as we make our way through this life.

A few of you know me very well and are aware that I carry some very ugly 3rd degree burn scars on parts of my body. They’ve been there since I was 18 months old, and they’re not going away. They get a little less obvious as time goes by, but they’re never going to go away. Ever.

I’ve recently been more mindful of the inner scars we carry. They form us because they are so raw or tender. Because they never really healed. They can make us shrink away from certain kinds of touches. They can make us run screaming away. But I am not merely the sum of the scars I have accumulated over the past 54 years. I am determined to be more than the sum of my scars.

10 Comments:

Blogger Kirkepiscatoid said...

Ah, but you are already more than the sum of your scars. Hands down. No question about it. So no worries there!

2/12/2009 8:24 PM  
Blogger FranIAm said...

Oh Lisa, reading this makes me just want to see you and meet you and embrace you.

So I do that from afar, with prayers and love.

Maria said it well.

2/12/2009 9:34 PM  
Blogger Jeffri Harre said...

(((((Lisa)))))

Our scars are part of our stories, but should not be the whole of our stories. Your story is so much richer than the sum of your scars.

2/12/2009 11:11 PM  
Blogger Lisa Fox said...

Thank you, dear friends. I am grateful you heard what I was trying to say.

2/13/2009 12:06 AM  
Blogger Joanna Depue said...

The scars we bear are but a remnant of an earlier encounter. Sometimes they are a badge of courage or a marker in a past we would just as soon forget. I echo the earlier comments posted here. The extent of your scars is limited to the past. You, on the other hand, most definately are not. Take heart!

2/13/2009 12:08 AM  
Blogger IT said...

At some levels I view scars like gray hair: battle honors.

On a very practical front, I want to recommend a cream you can get at your drug store called "mederma". My dermatologist recommended it to me. It reduces scarring. I had my doubts, but found it actually works -- reduces the color, and reduces the pucker. They don't go away but they look a little better.

(((Lisa)))

2/13/2009 8:48 PM  
Blogger Lisa Fox said...

Agreed, Joanna. That's what I was trying to say.

2/13/2009 8:55 PM  
Blogger Lisa Fox said...

"Battle honors," indeed, IT. You can't get thru life without them!

And thanks for the medicine advice. I'll check that out.

2/13/2009 8:56 PM  
Blogger Caminante said...

I wish I had read this posting before writing my sermon because it is an updated version of what I am trying to say. You'll read it tomorrow.

In sixth grace I did a face-plant on asphalt when I flew over the handlebars of my bicycle and spent four or five weeks looking out from a disfigured face... in the hospital right after the accident, when I looked in the mirror, I couldn't recognise myself. I am fortunate that, though I have scars, they aren't obvious.

I've always looked at the various scars I have collected as the dents and dings we get once we drive the new car off the lot.

I agree with everyone else; scars tell a story about our past but they are not our whole story, just a part of it.

2/14/2009 9:26 PM  
Blogger Lisa Fox said...

Agreed, Caminante. Off to read your sermon!

2/16/2009 8:48 PM  

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