Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Magnificent Obsession

The Story of Greg

It has finally occurred to me that Greg Griffith is desperately, hopelessly obsessed with our Elizabeth. There have been plenty of warning signs. But this week I finally realized the man cannot draw a breath without thinking about Elizabeth. In fact, he is so desperate to keep talking about her – and to keep all his friends talking about her – that this week he sought and posted a sermon that she preached ten years ago at an Integrity Eucharist. Ten years ago! After all, the StandFirm sheeple had begun talking about a few other topics, and this just will not do for someone as obsessed as this poor man. He must keep talking about Elizabeth. He cannot help himself.

I'm sure you won't believe this, but Greg was so desperate to refocus his friends' attention on Elizabeth that he plucked five little paragraphs from that sermon and posted them completely out of context. (I know. You're shocked! So am I.) But look at the passages he chose, and think about it. He chose five beautiful paragraphs in which Elizabeth spoke of erotic love – its power and its spiritual dimensions. Well ... it's obvious what is happening to poor Greg. What a sad cry for help! So obvious to us. So hidden to him. But it is ever thus, for those who are in thrall to such an obsession.

However, many of us were grateful to find a link to Elizabeth's sermon, which we hadn't read. In response to popular demand, Elizabeth has posted the complete text. It's a winner! But I digress . . . . (Imagine that!)

As I thought about the non sequitur of Greg's seeking and then posting those paragraphs from such an old sermon – and with absolutely no word of commentary or explanation – it suddenly struck me: Greg is just hopelessly obsessed with Elizabeth. Drawn like a moth to her bright and glowing flame. It must be painful for him, knowing – as he surely does – that she can never be his, for her love and life are pledged elsewhere.

Every now and then I imagine Greg and Elizabeth standing on a majestic mountain. (Of course, Greg would have had to cast a Hogwarts spell to lure Elizabeth there ... but never mind! Just work with me on this, ok?) Greg in his best cowboy outfit – the one he only wears on Thursday nights – and Elizabeth in her lovely gold lame cowgirl outfit. Greg's hands are shoved into his pockets, and he's scowling and kicking the ground, finally snarling to her in frustration: "I wish I could quit you!"

But he can't quit, bless his heart! He is hopelessly fixated on her, and he just cannot help himself. And he probably knows the scene should end with her giving a little shove with her gold lame boots ... which would send him hurtling off the precipice.

Sarah, Matt: Please! Somebody needs to do an intervention before this poor man utterly destroys himself.

9 Comments:

Blogger Sparrow said...

Is that the best you can do? Reaching a bit, I'd say, to find something to beat GG with.

8/01/2007 8:21 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

"Sparrow," if you found my little blog-post wanting, then surely it would have been beneath your contempt. But you swooped in here just moments after I hit the "publish" button. What's up with that?

I'd suggest you should ask Greg "Is that the best you can do?" as he continues his obsessive drumbeat with Elizabeth. I think he's fallen in love with her. Or maybe he's just envious of her. I dunno. And it's not my place to guess. But his obsession has moved past the land of "embarassment" and well into the land of "just plain silly." Somebody needs to do an intervention. I hope he has a wife or friends who can do it.

BTW, Anonymous Sparrow: Would you like to use your real name?

8/01/2007 8:39 PM  
Blogger Jeffri said...

Oh, Lisa, this gave me a much needed laugh this evening! Thank you, thank you, thank you.

8/02/2007 7:08 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

I'm honored, Jeffri. Thank you. And thanks for linking over at your marvelous blog.

8/02/2007 10:56 PM  
Blogger Jeffri said...

Well, Lisa, it looks like the surest way to increase hits on our blogs is to take a poke at the folks over at the Inquisision. *g* Over 150 hits between midnight and 8:30 this morning.

8/03/2007 8:07 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Are you sure you aren't obsessed with GG?

I notice that you have been noticing him for quite some time - for instance stone bridges and all that.
...

Remember that often the motive we impute to others are the ones we see in the mirror.

8/03/2007 9:06 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

That's a good one, "Anonymous" -- made me laugh out loud! Naw, I'm not obsessed with Greg or the StandFirm crowd until or unless they start trying to burn my friends at the stake. Then my talons come out. It has ever been thus.

If you'll do a little research, "Anonymous," you'll find that I only started keeping an eye on the StandFirm crowd and their spawn last year, when they began to attack me. I've found that it's a good idea to keep an eye on those who wish to destroy you.

However, if you find comfort in believing I'm obsessed with Greg, then go ahead and believe it, hon! Thick-necked men have never been my cup of tea ... but ya never know. ;-)

BTW, in case you wonder: given a choice between Greg and Elizabeth, I'll happily and gleefully take the beautiful and joyous Elizabeth anyday over Greg, who seems to keep chewing his same old cud day after day.

Sadly, it appears that Greg is still seeking assurance in choosing his wife over Elizabeth. I'm sorry the boy's still conflicted, but his conflict isn't my problem, thanks be to God!

8/03/2007 9:26 PM  
Anonymous Jim Wilkie said...

Sad, sad, sad ...

8/04/2007 4:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Miss Lisa L. Fox, are you the daughter of Thomas Watkins? I am Shawn Cray (614-476-5410) from Ohio trying to locate my cousin (who doesn't know about me). Thanks I can be emailed at dooda_43231@yahoo.com

9/08/2007 6:30 PM  

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