Read this one in a minor key.
I've been thinking about funerals today. The Unapologetically Episcopalian Facebook page linked to this a while back. But I hated the gory visuals that were included on that version. This one's more peaceful to me.
I could listen to this over and over. In fact, I have listened to it over and over today.
I've heard it sung during Tenebrae. But one commenter on YouTube mentioned hearing it mostly at funerals. I think that would be powerful and peaceful. I'd like it sung at mine. I would love to hear it sung during Communion, as some parishes apparently do.
You may wonder why I'm thinking about funerals today. Well ... it's convoluted, of course ... but you expect that of me, don't you? You'd think I had a double major in Long and Convoluted.
I woke early this morning, before dawn ... naturally and rested, and without aid of alarm clock. Made coffee, said Morning Prayer, and looked forward to a productive day at home -- this being one of the few totally free Saturdays I've had in a while. I had decided I would tackle the Room Formerly Known as a Guest Room & Study.
But for the past 34 months it's been The Room I Enter Only to Deposit Stuff ... like papers that need to be sorted and filed, or out-of-season clothes that need to be put away, or papers that need shredding. More and more, it's becoming the room where I crack the door open and toss things in. Not literally, but almost.
I know when it got transformed from the Guest Room to the Shunned Room. It became the Shunned Room when the few boxes from my mother's apartment were deposited there shortly after her death in October 2007 ... and the room has been shunned ever since. [And no, I didn't make that deposit. Family members with a key to my house put my mother's stuff in that room one day while I was at work. I think they meant well. But neither I nor they realized what would befall.]
I know I need to sort through those boxes and reclaim the space as my own. I had hopes today might be the day where I could at least begin to sort through the stuff I've subsequently deposited on the bed and other flat surfaces ... to "clear the decks" so that I could have space to go through my mother's boxes.
But, no, I played on Facebook and e-mail and the Interwebs. And dusk settled in, and now darkness. So ... of course ... I'm feeling like a failure. I suspect I was into major procrastination, without my even knowing it.
Dang it! The rest of my house is pretty tidy and well-organized. But that one miserable, cluttered, disorganized room haunts me and overwhelms me ... even on days like this, when I thought I had awakened full of energy.
Perhaps tomorrow. Who knows?
Meanwhile, I listen to this song ... thinking of my mother ...
It sure takes a long time to get over this stuff, doesn't it?