Another New Year

My wild and crazy New Year's Eve was roughly the equivalent of this kitty's. Thanks to ICHC for that image.

There was no party for me last night. My New Year's Eve was simply a quiet evening at home and an early bedtime, reading and snuggling with the cats.

I hoped I would awake this morning with thoughtful comments about the passing of the old year and the arrival of the new. But, alas, I did not. Several of my blogging friends had thoughtful comments to share. I was not among them.

It is tempting to write a retrospective about 2007, or to write about my hopes for 2008. But, having been alive for about 52 of these year-end passings, I just can't seem to mount the temerity to offer any wise words about the global situation.

I do wish the stupid war in Iraq would end. We disrupted that country for no good reason – for reasons that Bush, Cheney, & Co. invented to benefit themselves and their compadres. I wish for an end to the fighting. But, now that our nation has torn that nation apart, disrupting every bit of its infrastructure, I am clueless how to end the chaos. It is simple-minded to offer this hope, but it is my hope. Thanks to ICHC for the image at left.

I wish our nation could return to civil, intelligent discourse. But I don't really see any hope for that occurring. There was a time when I hoped that Hillary might become our next president, and our first woman in that office. But then I reflected on her vote to authorize the unjustified attack on and occupation of Iraq, and I am convinced she lacks the wisdom to make the crucial decisions that may need to be made. I don't see anyone in either party whom I would trust to make wise and long-view decisions. I fear that, when the 2008 elections come 'round, I'll wish that "none of the above" was a legitimate option.

I wish for peace in the Episcopal Church, and I wish the Anglican Communion would get on with being the marvelous witness it could be. I am weary of blogging about all this. There are signs now that the right-wing is going to gnaw itself apart. But, in the meantime, there are Episcopalians who are suffering (most recently in the Diocese of San Joaquin), with no end to their suffering in sight, receiving no clear support from our Presiding Bishop nor from the Archbishop of Canterbury. I am weary beyond weary of gay men and lesbians being the scapegoats in this global conflagration. I feel called to speak up about it, and I – like many others – do so, but I wish to God that folks like Katharine Jefferts Schori and Rowan Williams would take up the cause, so that a little blogger in Missouri (and my many blogging friends in the blogoverse) would not have to do so. [Kudos to MadPriest for the image at right; I can't remember when/where I nicked this image from his site, but I give him vague credit and thanks.]

Frankly, there are times when it's hard for me to tell the difference between our weak-lipped Republican overseers and our faint-hearted Episcopal/Anglican leaders. I find it sad and ironic that one of the strongest defenses of the Episcopal Church recently has come from a lesbian atheist.

I give thanks for the progress my Episcopal parish has made. We have a new rector, and I see many signs of hope there. I want to put my energies there and less in the Big Fat Anglican Brouhaha.

I give thanks that my sister and I have grown closer in the last few months, after the death of our mother. She is a gift and balm to me.

Fifteen months ago, I started having problems with my hands. I am thankful that I finally got a diagnosis and have a prescription that seems to have my hands operating more functionally. And I give huge thanks that I have health insurance that has made this possible. I lived for a couple of years without health insurance. I know how blessed I am!

I am glad I have a job that pays a living wage. "It's a living," as they say. My real passion is my work on The Episcopal Majority site and my own blog. This year, a colleague left her job at the archives to become executive director of the local Habitat for Humanity. When she left, I told her I was envious of her, that she would now be able to have her paycheck and her vocation and passion coming from the same place.

Over the past year, I have been able to reconnect with some friends whom I thought lost to me. I am deeply grateful that they have been able to forgive me for the wounds I've inflicted in the past – things done and left undone.

I am grateful that I still have both my cats. Some of you will remember that Scotty has had a couple of near-misses with death in the past 15 months. Even as he seems to grow more frail, I am grateful that he is still here with me. Today we spent a couple of hours with him in my arms. Every day that we're together, I am more grateful for the time we've shared. Seventeen years so far . . .

So … I enter 2008 with many bits of backward-looking gratitude, but few bits of optimism for the future. I suppose that leaves me in a position to be surprised by joy next year. That would be nice.