Life in Missouri

The St. Louis Post-Dispatch posted the breaking news on April 5th. The ever-vigilant Missouri legislature has identified the next great Threat to Western Civilization As We Know It, and they are working on a law to protect us. The headline screams the threat:

"Missouri bill calls for crackdown on sale of ... baking soda"

Yes, indeed. You read it right. Baking soda. The article begins:

First, the state said you must make a special trip to the pharmacy counter to buy certain cold medicines. That was to curb production of methamphetamine.

Now, a St. Louis legislator wants you to do the same thing to buy an even more common household item — baking soda — because it's used to make crack cocaine.

Sales of cold medications containing pseudoephedrine, such as Sudafed, are strictly regulated in Missouri. Customers must show a photo ID when they buy the medicine. Pharmacists must log the names and addresses of buyers, including how much they buy. People under 18 may not buy the medicines.

The sponsor of the baking soda bill, Rep. Talibdin El-Amin, D-St. Louis, said the same approach was needed for baking soda because crack cocaine is often produced by dissolving powdered cocaine in a mixture of water and baking soda.

Click here to read it all.

Imagine the forthcoming headlines:

• "Award-winning baker nabbed with 4 boxes of uncut baking soda"
• "Compulsive housecleaner charged with three counts possession of baking soda"
• "Antacid addict serves 3-5 years for baking soda possession"

As I understand it, this methamphetamine stuff must also be "cooked" somehow. So I expect they'll soon introduce legislation to ban stoves, microwaves, and campfires.

Y'know, you just can't make this stuff up!

Please … I want my country back.