Roller-Coaster

Scotty had a very bad "setback" [as the vet terms it] today. When I called in the a.m., she said I might bring him home this evening. But when I went to visit at lunchtime, he was pretty lethargic again, and the vet gave me all the bad news. His phosphate levels had "tanked," his red blood cells were down to 1/2 what they should be, and -- this sounds horrifying to me – his red blood cells are literally exploding inside him. So he's back to critical condition again, and she says he'll stay in the clinic through this weekend. That's easy to believe, given how he looked and acted today – on top of his medical readings.

I am treasuring my twice-a-day visits with him. I hold him, love on him, talk to him, and sing hymns to him. It's hard, not knowing whether he's coming back to this life or moving on to the life beyond. But songs like 'It Is Well' speak to me now.

The last time I had to bury a cat, my only liturgical resource was the '79 prayerbook. Now I've begun asking priest friends to point me toward liturgies specifically designed for the death of a loved animal. Here are some that have been recommended to me so far:

http://www.kingofpeace.org/resources/petfuneralliturgy.htm
http://episcoveg.weblogger.com/stories/storyReader$660?print-friendly=true
http://www.nhepiscopal.org/artman/publish/printer_279.shtml

I've printed them out. I wish I felt so confident that I filed them. But I didn't.