Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Signs of Hope

I'll confess: I went to bed last night pretty darn discouraged about the medical situation. Tonight I'm a bit more hopeful. Let me give the linear version. And since I am a GOTS [thanks, L!], you know it's going to be long.

When I said last night that I was "not amused," that was a serious understatement. I feared I was on a downward trajectory, and this was only getting worse.

Not long after I got home yesterday, I had a call from my priest. Who pretty much told me that she was going to come by and bring me dinner. [I've not been able to cook, nor to eat food that requires knife and fork. Would that I were back in Lui, where everyone eats with their hands!] Others in the parish have been asking how they could help, and I have assiduously said I was fine and didn't need help. J+ didn't so much "ask" as she "announced" she was coming. Thank God. She came by and we had a very good visit – good chat, and then I was finally able to name and discuss some of my fears. And she had brought oil for anointing, and that was a very special experience.

Just after I awoke this morning, someone from my doctor's office called. My doc wanted me to go to the clinic for a blood draw. So I did that on the way to work. Later, I called the doc's nurse to ask why. She said it's just "standard procedure" for this kind of paralysis. She said they should get results and call me Friday.

And, yes, I am still going to work. Some of you who have written/called assumed I was staying home. Not so! I'm not sick, and I don't hurt, so it would've felt stupid to sit home and eat bon-bons.

Late this afternoon I was chatting with one of my staff members, with my dead right forearm dangling over her low cubicle wall. Suddenly I realized my hand had moved!! I had moved my hand upward from the wrist by almost half an inch!! Then I wiggled my fingers!! And some small sections of my hand are hurting or tingling. I think this is A Good Thing [tm]. Surely it means the nerve is mending. Surely!

I can now draw this meat-hook-formerly-known-as-a-hand into something like a fist to do simple tasks like picking up my cell phone. Can't control it enough to operate said phone – but just being able to grasp something is a huge, huge improvement!

Many of you have included me in your personal or corporate prayer lists. I ask you to please continue. Even as I am eager to tell you about these new, hopeful signs, there's still a long way to go. I'd say I probably have regained about 10% of my right hand function – for which I am very grateful. But I'm still a long way from being the writer and Episcopal Majority blogmaster I was and want to be.

And be aware I remain pretty hamstrung and virtually tongue-tied in private e-mail correspondence. I'm still limited to one-handed keying in which I use weird shorthand and am prone to lots of errors and typos. Am working hard here on the blog to post in "standard English" and do appropriate proofreading. This post, for example, which should have come flowing out of my fingers in 10-15 minutes has taken over 90 minutes to write. That remains frustrating. If you know my phone number and want to chat, please call instead of e-mailing.

But I am hopeful – more so than in these last five days. That's cause for much, much happiness tonight.

Let us bless the Lord.
Thanks be to God!

3 Comments:

Blogger Ann said...

Continuing prayers - be at peace.

9/27/2006 8:30 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

Many thanks, Ann!

9/28/2006 8:01 PM  
Blogger contratimes said...

Dear Lisa,

All disagreements and conflicts aside, such trying times unite us all. When one part of the body aches the whole of it aches, too.

Please know that I shall pray for you tonight. I will pray for healing, patience and discernment (for you and the doctors). Even a healthy life is a hard one; I cannot imagine compounding that difficulty with the worrisome ailment you are presently experiencing. Such anxiety!

Peace to you, this night and always,

Bill Gnade

9/28/2006 8:33 PM  

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