Friday, January 11, 2008

Recherché de Idiots

New blogger Bill Fleener reminds me it's been too long since I visited The Top 10 Conservative Idiots.

This week's issue is a dandy, with GOP candidates (and the party itself) taking the top 6 slots. #7 goes to Pat Robertson, with this:
As you may be aware, the Rev. Pat is quite keen on making predictions in the new year, which are based on his private conversations with God. Unfortunately it seems that Pat has a bit of a hearing problem because they don't always come true.But it looks like Pat has learned his lesson. He announced last week that he knows who's going to win the 2008 presidential election - but don't get too excited, because he's not going to tell you.
On Wednesday, Robertson, 77, implied that God informed him who will be elected president in November. "He told me some things about the election, but I'm not going to say, because some old man on "60 Minutes" would make fun of me, so I'm not going to tell you who the winner's going to be," Robertson said, in apparent reference to CBS humorist Andy Rooney, who turns 89 on Jan. 14.
That's right - Pat has such confidence in the Word of the Lord that he won't tell people about it because he's scared Andy Rooney will laugh. Mind you, Pat's concern is probably well founded - after all, God also apparently told him to endorse Rudy Giuliani.I wonder if Pat is ever going to realize that God's just fucking with him?


Blogger Nina said...

And then the prophet said, I'm not gonna tell you, neener neener neener.

He would be pitiful if he weren't powerful.

1/12/2008 9:57 AM  
Blogger June Butler said...

Well, whoop-de-do! I know who will win, too, but, like the good rev, I ain't tellin'.

1/13/2008 3:32 PM  
Blogger Tobias Stanislas Haller BSG said...

Perhaps Pity-Pat recalls this Bible Verse from his Sunday School days:

Deuteronomy 18:22: "If a prophet speaks in the name of the LORD but the thing does not take place or prove true, it is a word that the LORD has not spoken. The prophet has spoken it presumptuously; do not be frightened by it."

I mean, how many chances does he get?

1/13/2008 4:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I wasn't going to say anything but the Lord revealed to me in a special super-spiritual prayer session what next week's lottery numbers are. Of course, I'm not telling.


1/13/2008 7:51 PM  
Blogger Lisa Fox said...

Well said, all y'all! I couldn't have said it as well.

1/13/2008 11:42 PM  
Blogger JimB said...

I wonder if Mr. Robertson ever reads that Bible he carries around? Consider Jonah, Moses and Amos, all of whom made it very clear that being a prophet is a really bad gig they did not want. This idiot thinks he is one and can do magic?

"What an idiot!" Hermione Granger


1/14/2008 10:44 AM  

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