Sunday, December 16, 2007

My Least Favorite Things

It's been a long, tiring week. I'm rather sick of the whole thing.

I can just imagine Julie Andrews singing, "These are a few of my least favorite things . . ."

I know it doesn't scan, but bear with me.

I'm tired of . . .

. . . tinpot dictators in mitres

. . . "reporters" who don't bother to get the basic facts of the story, much less the grammar

. . . posturing and grandstanding on all sides

. . . the false equity of attributing excesses to all sides when it's clearly one side that's gone over the top

. . . blaming God or Jesus or the Holy Spirit for what humans have decided to do for their own convenience

. . . Calvinists masquerading as Anglicans

. . . Narcissists masquerading as Episcopalians

. . . spineless boys in pointy hats

. . . Primates and primate wannabes

. . . sophomoric frat-boy humor from adolescents in collars

. . . dolorous pronouncements of doom and sadness from closet cases in collars

. . . gluttons in collars proclaiming that homosexuality is merely the indulgence of an appetite

. . . strained analogies to works by CS Lewis or JRR Tolkien

. . . obsequious worship of CS Lewis or JRR Tolkien

. . . obsequious worship of Bob Dylan or some other rock god by conservatives trying to look hip for their kids

. . . conservatives trying to look hip while they rail against Baby Boomers and declare that nothing good has happened since 1959

. . . ex-Marxist red diaper babies who talk neo-conservative but walk like Lenin and Stalin

. . . priests who announce they are "renouncing" TEC when what they're really doing is taking "30-and-out" retirement with full benefits, sacrificing nothing

. . . white Southerners who suddenly make common cause with Africans (with Oxbridge accents), but wouldn't give an African-American the time of day

. . . Africans who don' t have much use for African-Americans either

. . . people who are sure the voice of the majority is the voice of God, until they're in the minority

. . . people who are sure the voice of the minority is the voice of God, until they're in the majority

. . . straight people who spend more time thinking about homosexual sex than homosexuals do

. . . people who just started reading the Bible last year who think they know more about it than the people who've spent a lifetime studying it

. . . Episcopalians with a high sense of entitlement

Add your own.

[Update 12/17/07: Do read the comments. Some of them are much better than my initial offerings.]


Blogger Grandmère Mimi said...

...keyboard warriors. The ones who beat the war drums at the keyboard to send others to go fight our wars, but never enlist or urge their offspring to enlist.

...those who say, "I didn't leave the church. The church left me."

That's enough before I've had my tea. ;o)

12/17/2007 8:55 AM  
Blogger Ann said...

Ruth Gledhill and Jonathan Petre

12/17/2007 9:18 AM  
Anonymous Mordeo me said...

Anything by Chris Johnson, or anyone claiming to be an "elf." (A perky green elf popping up from a grassy field: oh, that's Muscular Christianity if ever I saw it...)

12/17/2007 11:40 AM  
Blogger Wormwood's Doxy said...

People who think they have a right to determine who is a "real" Christian.

People who think they have the power to consign people with differing opinions to hell.

People who clearly enjoy the idea of those with differing opinions roasting in hell...

12/17/2007 1:28 PM  
Blogger Paul said...

...sadistic cokehead dry(?) drunk fratboys who start preemptive wars and then assume they can lecture others;

...people who lose their prerogatives and think that's being persecuted;

...people who eat shrimp and then challenge my understanding of Leviticus;

...folks who like playing big daddy and keeping everyone else infantilized;

...people who insist on remaining infantilized (though I do feel sorry for them);

...folks who assume I have not already walked a mile (or more) in their shoes

12/17/2007 2:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

..people who can't say, "I was wrong" or "I made a mistake"
..101st Keyboarding Brigade
..ordained men who claim that only men can be priests because Jesus' disciples were men - but don't also mention that Jesus' disciples were Jewish fishers, farmers, and tax men. So, when's your appointment with the mohel, guys?
..anyone who claims the Iraq war/occupation is going "well" (as opposed to "less disastrous" than last week)


12/17/2007 6:12 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

You all are doing great! Several of your additions are even better than my original offerings.

Keep 'em coming.

12/17/2007 6:34 PM  
Blogger Rowan The Dog said...

...those who can't admit that the Anglican Communion is over and it's time to see what's next.

12/20/2007 8:38 AM  

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